Matchman's Grand (Old) Adventures

The Coromandel Peninsula

I'd taken a copy of the route guide from the girls that a travel agent had given us for free and the first suggested stop was a small sticky out bit of land, north east of Auckland, called the Coromandel Peninsula. Funnily enough the girls had poo-poo'd it as not being interesting so after spending a fortune on foodstuffs I headed straight for it, happy that I was doing something different to them.

It was a good move. The weather had brightened up and sure there was nothing to do there, but that's not all New Zealand has to offer - try the scenery for size too. Stunning, rolling green fields set on a backdrop of coastal edges or lakes as far as the eye can see; winding paths and roads up the hills that give fantastic views of the jagged landscape. I stayed at a place called Thames the first night but only after visiting Kennedy Bay on the north east of the peninsula, a very quiet and remote place which required me to take the van over a 15km gravel path to get to. In all honesty I doubt I was allowed to do that but hey I made it there and back and the van was still in one piece.

The following day, still full of beans at the start of my new adventure and inspired by the newly found sunshine, I decided to something utterly crazy - take the 6 hour trek to the Pinnacles, an activity on the 'Must-do top 100 things for Kiwis' list. Okay, hardly a claim to fame but if ever I was going to climb a mountain it might as well be today. I packed a bottle of water and some food in my rucksack and set off at 11am, in a little bit of a hurry as I needed to get back before dark.

Now, let me clear something up - I hate walking. Hate it. How on earth people can say they enjoy difficult, steep, tiring walks is totally beyond me; I despised every step of that awful trek and am still having nightmares about the flaring pains in my legs and knees. Sure, the views at the top were incredible, breath-taking even and worth every agonising step, but after seeing a helicopter land near the top I decided that there must be better ways to do this sort of thing.

I planned to go to Hot Water Beach the next day where you dig a hole in the sand and sit in your own little hot puddle, but before finding somewhere to stay I stopped at a petrol station where I was warned about an incoming storm that was going to hit the Peninsula really badly. I needed to go to the info centre anyway to find out about tide times at Hot Water Beach so I checked the forecast with them and indeed there was a bad storm coming in - one of the worst in recent history apparently with gale force winds of over 80mph - so I decided Hot Water Beach wasn't worth the risk and promptly took the journey across to the west of the island to Hamilton. I drove round the city for ages trying to find somewhere to camp but without a map, and at night-time, that's pretty hard to do in a city so I eventually settled for a university car park and slept. Not the best choice on a Friday night but beggars can't be choosers.

Little did I know at this point that although I'd escaped the initial eye of the storm it would still manage to plague me for the next 8 days - in fact pretty much my entire trip around the north island.

Hamilton & Raglan

Hamilton is the largest inland city in New Zealand, boasting a simply staggering 150,000 people (about the size of Basingstoke, just smaller than Milton Keynes). Yep, it's pretty small by UK standards, but then again most places are in New Zealand - there are just 4.5 million people in the country compared to 45 million sheep. My Lonely Planet guide didn't have much to say about it, and what it did involved mostly outdoor activities, so what is there to do in Hamilton when it's lashing it down with rain? The storm had hit, and not much was the answer.

I checked into a campsite pretty early after escaping the car park without a fine - I was actually pretty close to finding it without a map, it was only a few streets away - and after getting drenched at a bus stop waiting for a bus to the city centre that never came I went back to my van and watched some Family Guy episodes and a few films.

And that was my day.

No more time to waste so the next morning I went to Hamilton Gardens on the way to Raglan. The rain had eased off a little and the gardens were okay, fairly bland though as no flowers were in bloom, but Raglan was even more unspectacular and boasted even crappier weather. I decided immediately to give up on this area of the country and after getting very muddy tramping up the very average Four Brothers Scenic Reserve I set off for Rotorua, hoping for better weather.

Auckland

Bro. That's the easiest way to spot a Kiwi from an Aussie - every sentence seems to end in Bro. Hey Bro. Sweet as Bro. See ya later Bro. Men talking to men. Men talking to women. Women talking to women, everyone says it. Obviously those of Maori and Aboriginal descent are easy to spot, but another way to tell the difference is their pronunciation of i's and e's; in New Zealand 'is' is pronounced 'eez' and 'yes' is pronounced 'yeeez'. Or something like that. You have to hear it to know what I'm talking about.

So, 6 days in Auckland before myself and the three girls set off for our road trip around the cold and rugged dual islands of New Zealand. We'd booked a 4 berth camper van through a small but cheap company complete with hobs, grill, kettle, toaster, microwave, heater, shower, toilet and complimentary TV for just £6 a say each, not bad at all even with fuel and campsites added on.

Lisa and I had 3 days before the other 2 girls arrived from Fiji and that time was spent planning, doing a bit of shopping, visiting the museum which was interesting enough but also a little too big, taking a ferry to Devonport and walking up Mount Victoria (an extinct volcano), and finally going up the prominent but slightly disappointing Sky Tower for some views of the city.

I'd been expecting some pretty cold weather after reports of -10 degrees in the south island but Auckland, near the northern tip of the north island, is surprisingly just cool and a bit nippy in the evenings. Still, warm clothes would be needed later so a trip to a cheap shop called The Warehouse led to a complete stock-up without spending an obscene amount of money.

I met the other 2 girls - Sarah and Lydia - with Lisa over a drink or six in our hostel bar the night they arrived. They're both 20, from Leeds, and are engaged to each other. Lisa met them in Africa on her way to Australia. They're a bit different from you're everyday Jo...they look very young, act very young and are always either arguing or are all over each other in a pretty embarassing way. Over the next few days we did a bit more shopping and went to Rangitito, a Hauraki Gulf island just north of Auckland. Rangitito is a 'presumed' extinct volcano that was the scene of a massive eruption about 700 years ago. We took the hour long (and steep) track to the summit, enjoyed the views of the city and the other gulf islands and then strolled back down to get the last ferry via some dark and narrow caves. Judging by the pictures I've seen of New Zealand this was a pretty gentle introduction to some of the walking and scenery to come in the next month or so.

A few notes about Auckland. Although Wellington is the capital of New Zealand, Auckland is well known as the major city. It has a population of approximately 1.5 million, 11% of which are Maori, 55% are European descendants, and 34% are other foreigners. It has two harbours, about 50 extinct volcanoes and is closely situated to the Hauraki Gulf islands (you can get 30 minute ferries from the end of Queen Street, the main street in the city centre), which are very popular visiting spots for tourists and locals alike. Waiheke island, the most visited of all the Gulf islands, is home to some nice scenery, lots of posh artists and museums and some of the best wineries in New Zealand; wine tours are frequent but also expensive. We didn't have time to visit it, opting for the cheaper, smaller and more adventurous Rangitito instead, which is a shame but not one I'll worry about given the vast array of better stuff to do in the rest of the country.

I'll leave this entry on the night before we picked up the van...we went to watch some truly dreadful stand-up acts at the local Comedy Club - it was 'first-timer' night (and hopefully their last) - and then retired about midnight with excited anticipation...

Northland

The Northland lies on the north west of the north island, above Auckland, and has a subtropical climate. A deep Maori culture is steeped throughout; for example, at the peak of the north at Cape Reinga they used to send their dead out to sea on rafts. Among the highlights of the Northland are the Bay of Islands, diving at the Poor Knights island (rated amongst the top 10 in the world), Doubtless Bay, 90 Mile Beach, Cape Reinga and the Waipoua Forest, home of the biggest tree in New Zealand (a very old kauri tree called Tane Mahuta).

Our trip started with a taxi ride to the rental depot, near the airport, which the rental company paid for. After spending ages doing the usual checks we piled our stuff into the van and I sat in the driver's seat ready to go; as a free extra they's given us a portable TV which we thought might be useful, but unfortunately no-one remembered to secure it and as soon as I pulled away it slid off the side and smashed on the floor. Great start. I drove straight up the coast to Paihia, near the Bay of Islands, and we stopped at a campsite in a place called Haruru Falls. Unfortunately the power in the van didn't work so in the morning we decided to move and the van and try a different power supply, but due to all the rain that had fallen we were quickly wheel spinning and then moments later well and truly bogged in. All in all, not the best start to the trip. And it was raining too. The owner came down to help us get out with his two sons but to no avail, until finally someone spotted us from across the falls and came all the way round to tow us using their 4x4. We checked the power on another outlet - it worked - and 2 hours later than planned we were on our way with Lisa behind the wheel stalling the van at every opportunity.

We were hoping to get up to Cape Reinga that day but we'd lost too much time so after checking out Doubtless Bay - a bit gloomy and not very interesting - we stopped for the night in Kaituia, still a bit of a trek from Cape Reinga but about as close as you can stay without going the whole way. The next morning we set off and, well, Cape Reinga was a bit of a disappointment to say the least. Low hanging clouds and fog obstructed all our views which are apparently spectacular, and most of the area is under maintenance with cones and tape stretched out all the way across the entrance and the first part of the lighthouse path. And, to add insult to injury, even the tacky little signpost near the lighthouse that points to places across the world had been vandalised, leaving just a post.

It was Sarah's turn to drive so I sat in the back and carried on reading my new book, the Penguin History of New Zealand, from which I learnt far more about Cape Reinga than I did from visiting it. Pretty soon we were lost trying to find the way to the Waipoua Forest and so I laid back and gave Sarah and Lydia a chance to right their wrong by getting us back on track. Unfortunately they failed by not only trying to take the wrong road but even failing to find that one and taking us away from our destination and into the middle of nowhere. After 3 more hours of driving around and wasting petrol Sarah pulled into a layby for the night with my enthusiasm for the trip at a very low ebb. After another evening of not getting on with the couple from Leeds and generally not wanting to be there I made an executive decision to get the hell out of that van and make different plans. I just can't spend 6 weeks of my life doing something I hate.

The next day I drove us the rest of the journey to the forest and we checked out Tane Mahuta, king of the forest, and it was certainly impressive. It's between 1,000 and 2,000 years old and Maoris believe it is responsible for all life. Not sure about that one but it's a massive tree alright. Next stop was Waitingi for a look around the Treaty Grounds where Maoris agreed to British sovereignty back in 1840, although if you looked into the treaty you'd see that they were actually duped by a pretty poorly translated version which differed from the English version in some very important areas (I'll bore you with more history in later updates). The Treaty Grounds were fairly interesting, although nothing more than that. Finally we decided we'd had enough of Northland and the crummy weather (I certainly had anyway) and so I drove towards Auckland with plans in my mind to stop off in Orewa the next morning, just north of Auckland, and see the 3 girls I met on the Whitsunday Islands in Australia. When we reached Te Hana I veered inside of someone who suddenly decided he wanted to turn right into a petrol station, and then just as quickly changed his mind and turned back to the left, catching the rear drivers side of our van and crunching the front left of his. What a plonker. After taking pictures, swapping details and inspecting the damage (not much wrong with our van, just a dented plate acting as a vent cover) we were on our way again.

We stopped in a layby for the night in the pouring rain and I told the girls that I'd be leaving them the next day. I decided to be tactful and not tell them that they got on my tits, but I think somehow they knew why I was leaving and had guessed that I might do this as I really was miserable as sin. Well, bring on the next day and a new chapter in the great New Zealand adventure.

New Beginnings

I had a great time in Orewa, we got trashed on the Saturday night playing drinking games and then went to a 70s/80s fancy dress bash at the bar Hollie works at, and then slobbed about on Sunday and ate pizza and rented a DVD. Perfect. On Monday I booked myself into a hostel in Auckland and the girls kindly gave me a lift down there, at which point I had a sudden sense of deja vu - on my own in a big city trying to work out what to do next. My energy levels were low and I didn't fancy putting in the effort needed to travel round on a party bus like the Kiwi experience so the next day I started hunting around for vans.

The girls in Orewa were going to be travelling too but for now they were working and saving some cash so I knew I was on my own for at least the majority of my trip, and pretty quickly worked out that I'd have to rent a van by myself. I wanted one with a power point and plug sockets to charge everything up so I eventually settled on a Jucy Cruiza for $32 a day (about £12) with a free ferry journey from the north to the south island thrown it, saving me about $100. That was clearly the best I was going to get do after a few days of downloading films and games to play on my own I was bored of Auckland pretty excited about having the freedom of doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

A bit expensive but hopefully worth it...

Fiji wasn't part of my original route but after struggling to find a short contract in rainy Sydney I decided to rearrange and take 3 weeks in Fiji and 2 months in New Zealand. So here goes...

Nadi

Fiji is a collection of islands, over 200 in total, although the top attractions are the main island, Viti Levu (home to the 2 international airports of Suva and Nadi), and the two groups of islands called the Mamanucas and Yasawas. Life in Fiji varies quite widely - most native Fijians are poor and live in run-down 'villages' which consist of little more than a few communal shacks which sometimes double up as homes and schools, whereas other parts of the country are developed and are usually home to money-making Fijian chiefs, expats or tourist resorts.

I arrived at Nadi airport with no plans other than a nights stay at a nearby hostel, Nomads Skylodge, which costs just £8 a night and is actually quite luxurious. My first impression of Fiji was of a lush, green, tropical and mountainous landscape, mainly given from the window of the plane; that changed a little bit as we drove through Nadi past a few derelict-looking shops with very shady types lurking outside. As always with places like this the roads were at times in appalling condition and the drivers are complete lunatics. I checked into my hostel, had a bite to eat and looked around for someone who looked approachable; I settled for some fairly dull conversation with a Dutch guy who liked walking and hiking. Fortunately some friends of his arrived soon after and things picked up a bit, and I staggered into bed feeling very tired just after midnight.

The next day I went to the hostel's travel desk and booked some packages to occupy my time in the next 3 weeks. I sorted out 3 days on Mana Island, a 7 day unlimited 'Bula Pass' which takes you around the Mamanucas and Yasawas, and a 7 days package featuring 3 nights on Robinson Crusoe Island (to the south west of the main island) and 4 nights at a new backpacker resort called Mango Bay, located on the south coast of the main island. My travels started the next day so I extended in the hostel for one more night and packed a small bag to take with me consisting of a few t-shirts, a wash bag, a towel and a few books. And the didgeridoo had to come with me, of course. After finding the bar occupied by a huge group of Americans playing drinking games I opted for an early night before leaving at 10 in the morning for Mana Island.

Mana Island

Most of the Mamanucas and Yasawas are pretty small in size, some of them little more than a few hundred yards, so comparatively Mana is a big island - it took me almost 3 hours to walk round it and take in all the sights. My package took me to the island on a tiny boat called the Mana Flyer which was full with about 12 people on board, although only myself and 2 other English guys went all the way to Mana - the others were dropped off at Walu Beach and Beachcomber Island, the party capital of Fiji. I was staying at Mana Lagoon Backpackers, one of three 'hostels' in close vicinity, so I said goodbye to the lads and checked into my digs.

Mana Lagoon is a pretty interesting place. There's a big room consisting of a bar and a 10 bed dorm room next door, and also a separate building a short walk away which holds another 10 bed dorm, a few private rooms and a couple of toilets and showers. The showers are actually just thin plastic pipes that dribble out cold water, and the lights inside rarely work, but what actually makes it an interesting place is that it's located slap bang in the middle of a local Fijian village, so you're effectively experiencing true Fijian life. Cool. There's a school nearby that you can visit and help out at whenever you want, and there's always a plethora of kids looking for attention on the beach and in the village - great fun but they always reminded me of my niece and goddaughter who are growing up back home.

Physically I had a tough time on Mana, spending more time than I'd have liked on the toilet. I'm not sure if it was the tropical heat, the food, the water or the booze but I lost my appetite pretty quickly and had little energy during my 3 days, which became 5 after I missed my early morning boat and decided to stay on for an extra few nights. Obviously I was having a good time there - the people and staff were great, the weather fantastic and the snorkelling on the surrounding coral was incredible. An added bonus was the appearance of an Australian of Aboriginal descent who tought me how to circular breathe on my didgeridoo, i.e. breathe through the nose while expelling air from your mouth - not an easy thing to do and I haven't fully mastered it yet.

After my 5 nights were up I was given a leaving song by the islanders, accompanied by the Aussie dude on my didge, and then it was time to leave and finally activate my Bula Pass, 2 days late.

Walu Beach

Taking the big Flyer boats from Mana Island doesn't leave you with much choice in terms of destinations. I didn't fancy Beachcomber, the party island, so I stopped at Walu Beach for 2 nights, still in the Mamanuca island collection. I'd purchased a 5 night accomodation pass to go along with my Bula boat pass and was surprised to see that my free accomodation was a luxury lodge all to myself with a huge hammock and hot tub outside. I was then equally unsurprised when a member of staff approached me an hour later to tell me that my accomodation pass wasn't valid at Walu Beach. Doh! Still, 35 pounds a night in a luxury resort with all your food thrown in seemed reasonable to me after 5 nights roughing it on Mana Island, so I decided to stay there for a couple of nights and waste a bit of my accomodation pass, as well as 2 more days of my Bula Pass - four days in and I'd only got on one boat. Never mind, I'm on holiday.

The resort seemed pretty empty - lots of staff and just 5 guests including myself. I got chatting to 2 girls from Guildford and soon realised that I'd spoken to them before on the Mana Flyer boat that took us out 5 days ago, and within 10 minutes we were playing filthy scrabble with a group of 4 Fijians sitting round us singing us songs and refilling our drinks at the first sign of getting near empty. I decided that I'd made a good choice.

Later that evening I had my first taste of Kava, the local drink made out of the root of the kava plant. It's basically a mild form of drug - it makes your mouth go a bit numb after one cup (half a coconut shell) and apparently can be halucenegenic if you drink enough of it, but there's no way I could ever do that as it tastes like crap. Muddy water would be the best description I could give it, which makes sense given that it's made from the root of an earthy plant. The Fijians love it, probably because you can make a huge bowl of it for about 40p and most Fijians can't afford beer - workers at hotels and resorts rarely earn more than a pound an hour and a smallish bottle of beer will set you about almost £2 in a bar. I could have a guess as to where the money goes, but it certainly doesn't go to the workers who make the places what they are. Fijians are generally incredibly friendly and happy people, and they have the most infectious loud and high-pitched laughs that I've ever heard. I think I'd be pretty happy too if I lived in paradise and never wanted for more.

I'm also yet to meet a Fijian who can't sing and play the guitar. On my second and final night it was one of the girl's birthdays and on his way past the maintenance guy picked up a guitar and sang the full version of the happy birthday song, which goes like this:

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Sarah
Happy birthday to you

Happy longlife to you
Happy longlife to you
Happy longlife dear Sarah
Happy longlife to you

May god bless you
May god bless you
May god bless dear Sarah
May god bless you

And all done with a huge cheesy grin throughout. Awesome. Next stop was Bounty Island, home to that wonderfully classy TV programme Celebrity Love Island.

Bounty Island

Take a handful of z-list 'celebrities', add a terrible plot and watch as a beautiful paradise island is transformed into a horrible mess of a TV show. That's unfortunately what happened to Bounty Island when ITV hired it out to make the dross that was Celebrity Love Island.

Just 2 nights on Bounty for me but at least I'd used my Bula Pass to get there and was also finally using a few nights from my accomodation pass, the only 2 nights I actually used. I bumped into one of the guys, Deano, from the first Mana flyer in my dorm room and we wasted no time in hitting the bar. At midnight everyone else had gone to bed and I lent Deano my wallet to go to the bar; he came back with 3 drinks each, namely a shot of black sambuca, a double vodka and coke and a black russian, one of my least favourite cocktails. Already wasted, I downed the sambuca and took a sip from my vodka and cocktail before stumbling off to bed, leaving him with my camera to give me evidence of him drinking them.

I got up in the morning to watch the second half of the Germany v Turkey match, and then laughed my hangover off when Deano appeared with a camera full of drunken evidence of the drinks being finished. Apparently he comes from posh stock so we grabbed a small catamaran sailing boat and set sail around the island, which turned out to be a bad move as the wind totally disappeared and we had to get off into the water to push the boat back to the shore, past everyone on the beach and by the pool. Smooth. A little later, after a very lazy effort by us on some kayaks, Deano's mate Tom from Mana Island arrived after four nights on Beachcomber, looking particularly subhuman and in my opinion vindicating my decision not to go there. I've never seen shakes and sweats like it, and after going to bed at 8pm he wasn't seen again until 11am the next day.

Back to Nadi the next day (after Spain v Russia in the morning), and to Nomads Skylodge in particular to say hello to Lisa who I'm travelling round New Zealand with, and then onto Robinson Crusoe island for 3 nights.

Robinson Crusoe Island

A 2 hour bus drive from Nadi to Robinson Crusoe jetty preceded a 20 minute boat ride through the mangroves to Robinson Crusoe Island. Typically my name wasn't down and I had a bit of hassle checking in, but I managed to get it done in time to grab some lunch and settle down on the beach for some sun and sleep. The tan was pretty much back by now so I was just trying to cement it on before the harsh cold of New Zealand. The evening's entertainment turned out to be the same every night - a series of Bula dances (the word Bula is used for almost everything in Fiji) followed by some pretty impressive machete and fire dances, the best I'd seen in Fiji. By the time I went to bed the generator had been turned off and I had to stumble into the 50 bed dorm room, find my bed in the dark and also pull down the mosquito net and climb into the top bunk within the net.

There are a lot of people travelling in Fiji and hopping around the islands, yet it's amazing how you keep bumping into the same people you've met before. Tom and Deano were on Mana and Bounty; I met a girl called Vicky in Nomads Skylodge who was in Lisa's room and she was also on Robinson Crusoe and Mango Bay; and on Robinson Crusoe I also met the three English girls that I shared a dorm room with in Cairns back in April. You're never really alone.

The next day I got involved with the coconut jewellery session and made myself a pretty cool ring, which I subsequently lost 3 days later on Mango Bay. Other people were making bangles and pendants so I decided to be a bit different; the trick is to file the fur off the coconut, saw off the top and then drill a hole in the side in increasing sizes. You then saw around the hole and sand it down to the right size before applying some varnish; it took about 2 hours but it gave me something useful to do.

The highlight of my stay was undoubtedly a trip to the mangroves nearby, the only things that can grow in salt water. I'd already kayaked all the way round the island earlier in the day with one of the girls, Crissy, and wasn't particularly fussed, but after a fair bit of nagging from the girls and 2 of the workers, Lex and Missy, I decided to throw a kayak in the boat and join them.

When we got to the mangrove patch Missy parked the boat up and we jumped out into our kayaks. Lex surged ahead and I tried to keep ahead of Missy behind me but the mangroves are tricky to navigate, with low-hanging branches that scrape your body and often try to claim your oar. After a pretty sharp u-turn I found Lex out of his boat and reaching down below the water to grab a slab of runny mud from underneath - this trip was actually a mudfight, unbeknown to me, and pretty soon it was girls against boys. Lex, Missy and I against Crissy, Kars and Sabrina; disgustingly good fun, I ended up caked in mud, including a couple of handfuls down my shorts, and eventually we headed back to show everyone what they'd been missing. We washed the boat, the kayaks and then ourselves in the sea before hitting the showers Robinson Crusoe style - buckets with rope pulleys.

One more journey to make before heading back to Nadi - a local bus to Mango Bay.

Mango Bay

The bus took almost 2 hours to get to Mango Bay but was worth it for the measly sum of £2.50. I was pretty tired so I upgraded from a dorm room to a safari tent, which worked out at £35 a night as I got 4 nights accomodation for the price of 3. The room was pretty decent, consisting of a double bed, 2 single beds, a safe, an ensuite bathroom and a big wooden veranda with a couple of hammock-chairs. Lisa arrived a few hours later and in the evening we joined a few people by the bonfire for some pretty childish truth-or-dare games, including two Canadian bimbos who were possibly the dumbest people I've ever met, despite recently passing their exams with straight A's. How easy must they be?

The next 3 days were spent sun-chasing - which involves moving your sun-lounger every 10 minutes to avoid the coconut trees - eating and drinking, and either watching or taking part in the activities that were going on. The highlights were egg-throwing, coconut bowling on the sand and a table-tennis tournament where the long-term residents got a chance to show everyone exactly what they'd been doing for the past few weeks.

Looking back, I'm not sure what the best place I visited was. Mana Island for the local taste of life; Walu Beach for luxury and being pampered; Bounty Island for a typical taste of backpacker activity on a small sand island; the fire dances on Robinson Crusoe; or the peaceful nature and beautiful scenery of Mango Bay. They were all great and completely different in their own way. One regret of mine is that I never got a chance to visit Monuriki, the island from the Tom Hanks film 'Castaway'. It was a £20 return trip from Mana Island but they cancelled it when I tried to go as there weren't the required minimum of 4 people wanting to go. The trip included food and a complete tour of the island including the cliff where he practices his suicide attempt, and the cave where he spends most of his time with Wilson.

One piece of bad news from Mango Bay - after taking some pictures for Vicky of her dive lesson my camera leaked some water and no longer works. I think - or hope - that it just needs a new battery as it won't charge, but for the time being I'm without a camera for the third time on this trip. Never mind, the main thing is that my memory card survived and I still have all my pictures. Four nights in Nadi remain before my flight to Auckland, and they'll be spent chilling, sorting out all my washing, uploading pictures, writing this blog and planning for New Zealand. For now it's Vinaka and Ni Sa Mothey from Fiji...take care everyone.

Nimbin/Byron Bay

Ladies and gentleman, we have now crossed the border into New South Wales.

If the Gold Coast is Australia's answer to Florida then Nimbin is surely their answer to Amsterdam - without the red light district. It's a tiny little town with a single small street, but on that street lie herbal and hemp shops on either side with stoned old men everywhere offering everything under the sun to all the tourists and backpackers that visit every day of the year. We had great fun looking through all the gadgets and and 'herbal' remedies in the shops - some people have gone to great lengths to make drug products that look like other things. Bongs in the shape of Homer Simpson's head, pipes that look like metal credit cards and even smokeless bongs that are no longer than one or two inches and fit inside the palm of your hand. I won't go into any detail on this blog but we left the town as pretty 'fun guys'. Get it? We decided to book another motel for the night to eat our new toys and after only paying for three people and sneaking Sam into the room we settled down for some Family Guy episodes and...other stuff.

It was a great laugh, but back in reality the next day we were in the cold in a campsite and back down to three people again. Sam has run out of money and her parents are refusing to bail her out again, saying that they'll pay for her ticket home but nothing else. Sounds a little harsh but it's probably a good thing as it'll force her to actually do something but anyway she's staying in Byron Bay with a friend for a few days while looking for a job; should be interesting as she was supposed to be looking the previous day but instead just sat on Facebook for an hour messaging her friends. We went for a goodbye curry after a day by the beach (which is very nice) - I ate a Vindaloo - and then went back to our freezing tent to get some sleep before beginning the final leg of our journey to Sydney.

On a cheery note I came within inches of death in the morning before leaving the campsite. I went to the toilet to lose the vindaloo from the night before and while checking the toilet for spiders I looked to the left and saw a tiny Redback spider about 6 inches from my face in its web - one of the deadliest spiders in the world. Ho hum.

Coffs Harbour/Port Macquarie/Forster-Tuncurry

Hhmmm. The diary entries are really getting short now, and I'm covering several days at a time too. That's not a reflection on how I treat this blog, it's just a combination of our state of mind and the fact that the places we're visiting are really quite bland. Queensland was awesome; loads to see, loads to do and beautiful at the same time. New South Wales, however, doesn't quite fit the first two but almost fits the third - it's quite nice to look but that's it.

Jamie drove from Byron Bay to Coffs Harbour - the nearest place of any note - which was about 150km. Nothing of note there. I then drove to Port Macquarie the next day - about 150km again - and then swiftly followed that with another 70km to get to Forster-Tuncurry after realising it was a bit of a dump. There's a nice lake in Forster which apparently is green but looked fairly blue to me; it also boasts the second smallest cinema in the world, which we didn't go and look at. We're getting quite lazy now - Jamie and Dave didn't even bother to get their cameras out of the car today.

It's nearly over now. Tomorrow we plough on to Newcastle, the second biggest city in New South Wales, and then on Wednesday we finally arrive in Sydney - and attempt to sell the beast. And get a job!!

Some good news - I have 3 weeks free(ish) accomodation in Sydney, by the beach in Bronte (see my previous entry on the Bondi to Coogee walk). Ash, our old sparring partner who travelled with us fo the first few months, and his girlfriend Kelly are heading back to England for a holiday/relative's wedding and they've kindly offered to put the three of us up in their flat. Get in there!!

Talee/Newcastle

What a day!

We slept in a National Park near Forster-Tuncurry and watched the Godfather on the laptop, then sat watching several Family Guy episodes in the morning before starting to get ready to leave. I got chatting to an old Australian couple on the way back from the toilets and noticed Jamie and Dave playing with a bat and ball set we picked up for next to nothing in a reject shop somewhere. I was doing my best to act mature and grown up but in the background Jamie was throwing his bat at a big tree near our tent; the next thing I new he was climbing up it, and the old couple were watching with strange looks on their faces. Turns out that the ball had got stuck in the tree, and when he threw the bat at it the ball fell down but the bat stayed there. Ever heard the expression 'it will end in tears'? Well, it did...Jamie fell out of the tree and landed awkwardly on a big piece of wood below; he seemed okay so we laughed at him for a while, and then he pulled up his t-shirt sleeve to reveal a big hole in his arm near the armpit. Ouch. About a minute later the elderly couple were taking him to the nearest medical centre in Forster and Dave and I were packing up the tents to join them.

We thanked the elderly couple when we got there and then took Jamie to Talee, complete with a dose of morphine and fresh dressing, as that was the nearest place that could fix him up. We sat in the hospital for ages and eventually at about 2pm they took him to sort him out, and so me and Dave drove around Talee for a while attempting to steal wireless internet from people's homes. No joy though, and so at nearly 5pm we picked Jamie up - along with his 6 stitches (which doesn't sound like a lot for such a big and nasty wound) and painkillers - and I drove us to Newcastle for our final stop on the journey. No campsites in sight so we booked into a motel for the night, watched Jackass 2 in celebration of Jamie's stunt and then hit the sack for our final sleep.

You might be wondering where we get all these films and things from. We've bought a few DVDs on the way - the Godfather was a birthday present for Dave - but most of them are copied from people we've met along the way. We did very nicely out of Spotto in Mackay, and Johnny who was with us on Fraser Island and Noosa had pretty much the complete Family Guy episode list barring about 5 episodes. I've added about 4,000 songs to my iTunes collection too, so I'm doing very nicely.

Right. I have to drive to Sydney tomorrow as Jamie's arm is in bad shape - and Dave doesn't have a license - so I'm looking forward to crossing the Harbour Bridge for the first time...

Back In Sydney

We very nearly sold the car today. But first, a quick update on what's been going on.

Well, the car made it all the way to Sydney, which is a result to say the least. It was overheating massively when we arrived - perfect timing for Sydney city centre - but it got there and it still hasn't broken down to this day. Driving over the Harbour Bridge wasn't that great, and we had to pay for it; afterwards we checked into our temporary hostel, got our stuff together (haircuts, showers, shaves, clothes washed etc) and then had a think about selling the car.

We decided to put the car on the market for $2,500. We spent about $1,700 on it including all the camping equipment but seeing as we were anticipating a long stay in Sydney we thought it might be worth a try. A quick trip to the car wash - see picture - and then a long and painful trek around Sydney and its suburbs to put adverts up in the hostels and travel shops.

After 10 days we'd had zero calls, so we dropped the price to $1,500 and did the whole thing again!

Actually there was a reason for the drop in price. Two reasons, in fact. Firstly, I haven't had any luck in finding a 3 month IT contract in Sydney and have decided to move on - that decision is vindicated anyway by the fact that the weather is terrible here at the moment, raining 24/7. The second reason is that I took the car to a garage to have the overheating looked at and was informed (and showed) that there are two separate leaks; one in the water pump and a big one in the radiator itself. After receiving an offer of $300 from the garage we decided to adjust the price - these faults can join the following list which we already knew about:

- Oil leaking
- Odomoter not working (doesn't clock any kms)
- Demister doesn't work
- No reverse lights
- Exhaust blowing
- Hood lining in car needs re-attaching
- Power steering fluid leaking
- Faulty electrics (you have to whack the dashboard for the fuel gauge to work)
- Dodgy automatic gear changes from reverse to drive (sometimes stalls)

Nice. Well, as soon as we put the adjusted advert up we had a call from two Geordies asking to look at the car. They took it for a spin and loved it - it goes just fine and is powerful too (V6 3.8 litre engine) - but unfortunately they asked to see under the bonnet and were greeted by lots of steam and water gushing out from the radiator. Damn. No sale of course, but we did 'fix' the problem by flushing the coolant from the system using nothing more than a Swiss army knife and a drying up towel and adding some radiator stop leak. Thankyou Google, and thankyou to whoever put up the step-by-step guide along with clear photos.

So, we're still burdened by the car and I'm plotting the next step of my adventure. We're still staying at the flat in Bronte, which although free is a real pain as it's pretty much in the middle of nowhere, although there are buses to Bondi Junction every 15 minutes. Dave has got himself a fairly long-term job repairing power tools, while Jamie is in the same boat as me trying to find a short-term IT contract and has pretty much given up hope too - looks like a bit of bar work for him until he goes to New Zealand in a few months time. I haven't mastered circular breathing on my didge yet and my Spanish learning has stalled too, but I'm not giving up on either!

I hope everyone's well and enjoying their summer...I hear it's pretty rubbish in the UK too. What a surprise. And condolences to those who still work at HBOS - not just because you still work there but also the share price is laughable too.

I've no idea what my next update is going to be, or where from - if anyone has any good advice for travelling around Oceania and South East Asia then let me know!

Noosa Everglades

Time for another part of our package tour. Three days and two nights - although realistically two days and two nights - canoeing in the Noosa Everglades, with the usual sleeping in smelly tents in cold weather and rain, although the weather in the day was great. This trip just didn't have the same feel to it - we were tired of camping, the rain fell heavily and turned our campsite into a bog, all our stuff was left out and got drenched...cue a slight depression all round and thoughts of elsewhere other than Australia. Not even the goon could get us through it. The canoeing itself was nice and tranquil, good weather and as always we had our iPod speakers in the boat with us to liven things up a bit.

A few of the people from Fraser were at Noosa too. Brooke and Vicky started the day before but Johnny and Laura were doing the trip at the same time as us. I also recognised a few other people from various places in Oz - I particularly remembered a couple of hotties from a hostel in Sydney and a barmaid from Scruffy Murphy's, which happens a surprising amount when you're travelling around. Anyway, we chatted to a few people but left most of the group to themselves as we were tired and in all honestly really couldn't be bothered to socialise too much, and were really quite glad to be out of there and be back in 'free mode' - no dates and places to follow, just a map and an idea of where we'd like to go.

Coming soon will be Brisbane, Australia Zoo, Surfers Paradise, Byron Bay and Nimbin, as well as a few other things including an Aboriginal workshop where you paint your own boomerang for 10 bucks and get an hour's didgeridoo lesson. You can also buy a didge for 89 bucks and paint it yourself which I think I'm going to do - Dave actually bought one in Noosa for 139 bucks and took it with him on the trip. It was fun for a while but as none of us can play it that well it became a bit annoying after a while. It's only when you try and play one that you appreciate how difficult they are to play and listening to someone good gives a whole new viewpoint. We're hoping our lesson will get us going nicely.

Oh, and how about this for karma. We found an Olympus camera outside our tent on the final morning of the canoe trip and when noone claimed it as theirs at the site I claimed it as my own as a replacement for the stolen camera. It's 7.1 megapixels, sandproof and waterproof for 3 metres, and even fits my old camera battery charger perfectly. Get in there. I feel for whoever lost it but there's no way of giving it back so I'll happily look after it for the rest of the trip.

Next stop is real civilisation in the form of Brisbane - cue phone calls, emails and blog updates.

Brisbane

Brisbane, the capital city of Queensland, sits close to the bottom of the state and is situated between two popular holiday destinations - the Sunshine Coast to the north and the Gold Coast to the south. It's the third biggest city in Australia with a population of just under two million people and enjoys good weather for most of the year; temperatures rarely drop below 20 degrees in the winter (although it's chilly at night) and often hits the 40s in the summer. It's only half an hours drive from Australia Zoo and doesn't have the ridiculous hustle and bustle of Sydney; from the brief time I spent there I'd have to say I quite like the look of it, it has everything you need and is pretty chilled out for a large city.

When we arrived in Brisbane we parked the car and strolled around the Botanical Gardens, and then wandered around the city centre for a while before heading off to try and find a campsite. This turned out to be a bad move; we'd left it too late and couldn't find any spaces in the few campsites that were still open. At about 9pm we pulled into a motel in a suburb called Oxley and decided to book ourselves in for the night - it was a lot pricier than a campsite would have been but it was all we could find and at least we'd be sleeping in warmth for once. After recharging everything, using 6 hours of internet time and getting a good nights sleep (as well as a Dominos takeaway) we set off at lunchtime to find a campsite and were a lot more successful this time; after doing all our washing we went back into the city again for more exploring and a few drinks. On Monday we tried to book ourselves in for the Aboriginal Workshop, part of our package deal, but the guy was sick and so we decided to take our free boomerangs and paint them ourselves back at the campsite. See below - they're pretty rubbish! Oh, I forgot to mention that I also bought myself a rather nice didgeridoo in the city centre. It's unpainted and light as a feather for its size, not to mention that it's very easy to play. So, I now have a didgeridoo and a boomerang.

On Tuesday we went to Australia Zoo and then stayed with someone that Jamie's dad knows through work in Brisbane. A very nice house, accompanied by a very nice barbeque and very nice booze, and then it was off the next day to the Gold Coast - in particular Surfers Paradise.

Australia Zoo

Not much to say really - a great day out, loads to see and pretty good value. For those that have been since he died - the staff no longer wear giant Steve Irwin heads.

Just a selection of pictures that are a bit different from the previous wildlife ones.

The Gold Coast

Blue skies. Beautiful people. Expensive shops and over-priced accomodation. High-rise tower blocks everywhere you look. Theme parks by the dozen. Welcome to the Gold Coast, Australia's answer to Florida. It even has a place called Miami; our own destination was Surfers Paradise, slated by most but loved by party animals. We had no idea what to expect really, but decided to give it a go and do things the true tourist way by going to Wet 'n' Wild water park followed by a night out in Surfers.

Wet 'n' Wild was great, a real blast and when the lifeguards weren't acting like Hitler I got to test out my new underwater camera on some of the rides. It cost just over £20 each but it was practically empty and we had the run of the park to ourselves. Fortunately we were astute enough to take our own lunch in rather than pay the inflated prices inside, and at about 3pm we set off for Surfers to try and get into a campsite within walking distance; alas, yet again to no avail - the two campsites that had what we were looking for were asking for over £30 just to give us a tiny bit of land to pitch our tents on in the freezing cold. We were never going to pay that so instead we found ourselves a cheapish motel again, quite a way from Surfers, and watched Team America on the laptop with a fair amount of wine before crashing out. Not the experience we were looking for but sometimes when you're travelling around like this things go that way. The next day we went into Surfers and I got some tips from a South American guy on how to treat and paint my didgeridoo, and also got some free bees wax from him in case I need to redo the mouthpiece. More freebies - see what happens when you genuinely show interest in something? Good things, that's what. After messing about in the Condom Kingdom shop we set off for Byron Bay, but not before a little detour to a rather infamous place called Nimbin.