Haast, Wanaka & Queenstown

Haast & Wanaka

The following statement seems to surprise, shock and yes even offend some of the people I've spoken to recently. The statement is this - I'm not going to ski or snowboard in New Zealand. Yep, that's what I said. The usual reaction from people here is one of complete amazement; cue uncomfortable smiles and then people slowly backing away from me. Idiot. Weirdo. Freak.

Allow me to explain. Firstly, I only have a limited time here and I want to use it well and see as much as I can - spending 3 days on a ski field doesn't seem to fit with that. Secondly, it's expensive and I've already spent more than my fair share in this country. Thirdly, you can ski all over the world and there are far easier and cheaper places to get to from the UK, and hell from what I hear some of them are better anyway. And fourthly, and perhaps more importantly, I'm not even slightly interested in skiing or snowboarding. So, there you go, I'm just plain odd. The upshot of this is that I won't be spending a long time in Wanaka or Queenstown - in fact, they'll just be little visits like any other place, like Haast for example.

I'm not really sure why the travel bloke in Auckland suggested Haast as a place to see. It's on the road from the glaciers to Wanaka, so you go through it anyway, but it's amazingly tiny and there's nothing to do there. My guess is that it's probably quite scenic but I can't confirm that due to the low-hanging clouds and rain that rather spoilt my brief stay there. So, moving on I drove over the Haast Pass towards Wanaka and hit snow. Not proper snow, more like sleet; wet snow that doesn't seem to settle anywhere apart from in little patches on the grass on the side of the road. But combined with the permanently low temperatures in the alpine region and a biting wind it really was cold outside. Horribly cold. I stopped a few times to take some pictures and even though I was outside for no more than a few seconds each time I had to thaw out in the van afterwards with the heater cranked right up.

I hit Wanaka in the afternoon and immediately checked out the info centre. It's right next to Lake Wanaka, which I'd been driving round for the last 15 minutes on the way to Wanaka, and the very low clouds made for some unusual views of the lake. There was no way I was staying outside in that weather so I drove towards the airport and tried my hand at some rifle target shooting, which I wasn't terrible or awesome at, but it killed a bit of time which is all you can ask for when you're hiding from the weather. That done, I found myself a big and quiet campsite and locked myself in the van with the heater on.

I woke up in the morning and peered out through the window and was delighted to see some blue sky, so I got up and went about redoing the photos I'd taken on the previous day. Just take a look and you'll soon see why I get so annoyed by dreadful weather when I'm trying to travel around one of the most scenic countries in the world. Rainy, cold and indeed snowy days are acceptable - it is winter after all - but not if it's so bad that you can't see a thing. When I saw the view of Lake Wanaka on the second day I wondered exactly how much I'd missed on the north island during that storm.

Oh well, what's done is done and for now I need to hit Queenstown to set up base for a while. Lots to do there - Deer Park and Glenorchy are home to lots of scenic from the good old Lord Of The Rings films (although I don't yet know where they are or which scenes they were) and Arrowtown is apparently a must see place. I should certainly have lots of time to see all that while I'm not skiing.

Queenstown

As hard as other places in New Zealand try, Queenstown remains the number one alpine and activity resort in the country. Without a doubt. How do I know this? Because it's heaving, totally overcrowded and pretty hellish really. There are just 4 million people in the country, and I think most of them are here. Seriously though, most places I've been to would make Alton on a Sunday seem busy, so it came as a bit of a shock when I encountered endless traffic, no parking spaces, loads of people on the streets and lots of vans at my campsite.

But these people don't live in Queenstown. No, this is definitely a tourist resort and the only people who live here probably work in tourism. You can just tell - families walking in and out of expensive ski shops; bleached haired idiots carrying snowboards around; and what is it with these huge, multi-coloured ski jackets? Yep, I'm in a ski resort alright. And what a time they'll all be having right now - it's snowing massively here. I've never seen so much snow in my whole life - who knows how much there must be on the slopes - and it's great snow too, light and crispy and perfect for snowmen and snowball fights. And it doesn't go away, it just builds up, getting higher and higher on the grass while the cars turn the roads into a mess of grit, slush and ice. It's just a shame it's not Christmas.

So, what about the town itself? Well, it seems nice enough, very compact and offers everything you'd want from a place like this, although the prices are a tad steep. Unfortunately I'm here by myself, i.e. I've got no friends to go out with, so I can't really judge the nightlife at all (I'm not the sort of person to go and sit in a pub by myself and try and make new friends). So I'll just say that if you're a ski boff then you'll no doubt love it here, and I'm sure the nightlife would be great too (I've heard it is).

And now onto the boring bit - what I did here. Firstly I checked out the town centre, for a whole day in fact including a trek up a mountain for views of the valley and the town, and then went to nearby Arrowtown to see its famous cobbled streets, its top class but tiny cinema, and to see how it looks in the snow with its old-school phoneboxes and street lanterns. Well, to say it woas a disappointment would be an understatement. There are in fact no cobbled streets; the cinema was only showing chick flicks (no cinema in the world can make them worth watching); and for some geographical reason that totally escaped me there was no snow. I did however notice the lanterns and red phoneboxes, which entertained me for a few seconds, and I also checked out the nearby ruins of a Chinese village from the gold rush in the 19th century, which really was surprisingly enlightening. But all in all it was a bit pants really. Having said that, if my trip to Arrowtown was a letdown then my trip to Glenorchy was a spectacular misjudgement, in more ways than one.

I mentioned in my last update that the Queenstown area played host to many of the spectacular Lord Of The Rings sets, chosen for its breathtaking views and landmarks. Well, whilst glancing through a Glenorchy brochure I noticed that the following sets are all in the Glenorchy area - the Misty Mountains, the Ford of Brunien (where the horse-river-wave-thing comes along and sweepd the black riders away), Isengaard (Saruman's fortress by the lake) and Lothlorien (where they get captured by the elves, and the lake where they subsequently sail off). Unfortunately the brochure was for an expensive guided tour and didn't say where these places were exactly, so I got my van packed off and set off for the Glenorchy visitor information centre, knowing they'd be able to help me - who needs to pay to see nature when it's freely accessible?

There's probably an international standard for driving in the snow but I have my own method - stick the van in low gear, drive a bit slower than usual and just pretend it isn't there. It seems to work a treat; leaving the campsite was a bit ropey but great fun, the first road is massively downhill and covered in ice and snow and there really was nothing I could do - I just slid for a while, drifted to the left, smacked into the kerb and came to a standstill in the middle of the road, pointing to the right quite a bit. As anyone who's driven in the snow will know, the main roads are usually fine and in a place like this, where it's expected all the time, there's grit everywhere and all is good. I got to Glenorchy with it still snowing and approached the girl at the info centre/supermarket - it's a very small town - to find out where I needed to go.

What I'm about to tell you is a secret, and if it gets out then heads will roll, so don't tell anyone okay? Okay. Here's the secret - in the country of New Zealand...home to majestic scenery and famous for the Lord Of The Rings sets...in the town of Glenorchy...THE place to see the best of those sets...a town with nothing else to offer tourists...in the tourist information centre...which should be full of information on those sets...works a girl...WHO'S NEVER SEEN THE FILMS!!! AND HAS NO IDEA ABOUT ANY OF THE SETS!!! HAAAA HA HA HA HAAAA!!!!

You couldn't script it any better. Well, after looking at me as if I was the idiot for asking such a question...in an information centre...in Glenorchy...she pointed to a place called Paradise on the map and said that whatever it was I was looking for, it must be there. I swiftly pointed out that the road to Paradise was marked with a dotted line, meaning it wasn't a properly kept road, but she thought it would be fine for a campervan - 'but watch out for the stream crossing'. I decided that out of her two roles she was a better shop worker than information provider, but I took the road anyway under the knowledge that if it got a bit rough I could just turn back.

The main road was okayish, prett snowy but driveable, but when I turned off and took the track to Paradise it started getting pretty thick with snow and I swiftly decided that I shouldn't be there. I drove on for a bit and eventually spotted a part of the narrow track that looked just about wide enough to pull off a manouevre - steer to the left...reverse...drive forward...drive forward...drive forward...oh.

I was stuck. In the thick snow. In the middle of nowhere. In the middle of the road. Sideways on. Blocking the whole track. I had no phone signal. I was on my own. If someone came along to save me they would probably drive straight into me as I was sandwiched between two turns.

Oh. My. God.

After a quick panic attack the brain started to kick in and I got down on my hands and knees and dug some of the snow out from under the wheels and, cold and soaking wet, realised how I could get out of this. Since I was on my own I couldn't go to the back and push, but fortunately the van is an automatic so I opened the drivers door, stood outside by the steering wheel, released the handbrake and stuck it in low gear whilst pushing. And it moved - very nearly into the ditch off the road. I got it into reverse just in time, and nearly repeated the mistake on the other side of the road, but eventually and with a huge amount of luck I'd managed to slide the car into a position where it wasn't stuck and I was facing far enough to the left that I could drive back the way I came.

Wow, what a little adventure. And you know what? Had I found anything in Paradise, the clouds were so low and the snow was coming down so heavily that I probably wouldn't have been able to see anything anyway. The things you do...

I needed a breather so I went back to my campsite in Queenstown, did some washing including my newly filthy and wet clothes, and got ready to leave for Fiordland in the morning.